i am disdainful about having to describe my work in general but particularly work that does not exist yet, work that will emerge over a period of three years. how the fuck am i supposed to know anything about it now? who the fuck has conclusions or even questions before they start?!?!?

So I guess all that is happening this semester is what I thought would happen, that everyone else is super super busy this semester and this is kind of my least busy semester ever. Last semester if I wasn't working my ass off I was partying my ass off, and this semester I've really done neither. There are scheduling conflicts with my orals, so I don't even know when they are, so it's like there is nothing to work for. I've barely been able to read, or go to the store, etc. etc. It's kind of the definition of depression I guess. The weekend was awful, yesterday was a little better cause I had great conversations with Rana Manuel and Pamela. The novel is looking good. Rana and I's goal is to win a LAMBDA award, which I think means that no matter what happens throughout the novel it has to resolve in some white homos or lesbians getting married and owning property with their parents lovingly accepting them, or maybe it would be ok if it was a mixed race couple. There is already a lot of violence, lots of fag bashing and baby killing. I think it'll be really good. We decided that Courtney Love and Britney Spears will be basically begging to hang out with us once it is written and that it'll get us enough money and recognition to drop out of the academy. We are going to have a summer writing session where we attempt to make the novel as brilliant as Bowie's Station to Station by living off cocaine fruit and soy milk (well, Bowie wrote S2S on cocaine and milk, but I think milk is gross and I can't live without eating even when I do coke).

I've been spending time reading every Courtney Love interview that exists. She's brilliant. I desperately want to be her friend, and not her shallow friend, but her friend who is good and true. I even revisited the Hanna/Love debate and decided I may actually side with Courtney. I've also been watching Season 7 of Idol on YouTube. Is it me or are the judges all genuinely likable this season? I have been drinking small amounts of whisky and coke at home, which is I think the only place where Freud and I would agree on similar "treatments." I might suggest karaoke tonight, even if only with Rana and The Jew.

Ok, GSOC meeting.....ugh.....

A. Put your music player on shuffle
B. Press forward for each question
C. Use the song title as the answer to the question, in order of the shuffle.
D. NO CHEATING!!!

1.) How am I feeling today?:
"Prove Yourself" - Radiohead

2.) How will I feel getting married?:
"Bye Bye Bye" - N'Sync

3.) What is my best friend's theme song?:
"You Want Her Too" - Paul McCartney

4.) High school is?:
"Cemetery Gates"- The Smiths

5.) I am?:
"Beercan" - Beck

6.) How is today?:
"Yesterday, When I Was Mad" - Pet Shop Boys

7.) What is in store for this week?:
"Playboy Mommy" - Tori

8.) What song best describes my parents?:
"Milford Lake" - John Cameron Mitchell/Stephen Trask

9.) How is my life going?:
"Slipstream" - Jethro Tull

10.) What song will they play at my funeral?:
"Faithless the Wonderboy" - Radiohead

11.) How does the world see me?:
"Civil War" - GNR

12.) My life lived?:
"West End Girls" - Pet Shop Boys

13.) This makes me happy?:
"Cars and Telephones" - Arcade Fire

14.) What should I do with my life?
"Larger Than Life" - Backstreet Boys

15.) I will be happy when?:
"Bigmouth Strikes Again" - The Smiths

16.) What is some good advice?:
"Enjoy the Silence" - Depeche Mode

17.) What do I think my current theme song is?:
"Or" - Sonic Youth

18.) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
"Dive" - Nirvana

19.) The type of women or man I like?:
"Little Wonder" - Bowie

20.) random:
"In My Head" - The Ballet

21.) What should I do with my love life?:
"Chapel Hill" - Sonic Youth

22.) What will your neighborhood be like?
"Pale September" - Fiona Apple

23.) What will your dying words be?:
"Thirty Three" - Smashing Pumpkins

Hey y'all. I'm moving over to agent_f_813.livejournal.com. I already added some of you, but I thought it would be easier to just tell you to add me. There might be some initial repetitiveness. But go add me anyway!!!!!

re: the fact that many employees could not make it to work today:

"At Lord & Taylor, the famed Midtown department store, executives walked the sales floor, trying to sell the gloves and sweater sets themselves, mirroring the desperation of many retailers."

Oh God. That is it. I was supportive of the strike before, but this is outrageous. Transit workers: shame on you.

Reverse Outlining = Best Strategy Ever

If you are in any way affiliated with a university above the undergraduate level, or if you are an alumni of NYU, PLEASE sign this (and comment, so I don't send you an e-mail harassing you later)


Petition by Judith Butler and co.

Hope the day is spectacular! I miss you!

jcspd's Halloween party:

actualhuman didn't dress up, spoilsport.
allen1742 dressed as a camel.
caligula_wess dressed as Winona Ryder.
captthud dressed as a laser printer.
daphneisgood didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
desultorymatter dressed as something furious, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
dougieperc dressed as a Level 5 ranger.
dragonfire66 dressed as Scotty from "Star Trek".
elettaria dressed as the Average Power Ranger.
gentlespirit didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
ginger8 dressed as Optimus Prime.
greggiggle dressed as a sub-adjunct paper pusher.
ilovemrdarcy dressed as Paris Hilton.
itsjen33 didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
izzycat dressed as Marge Simpson, and it suited them all too well.
jaaaaamas dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Amazing Watcher.
justsayin dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
kuakihi dressed as a suspicious bruise.
ladypeaceful didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
leftyblueeyedb dressed as Arthur Agatston riding a turkey, though it looked more like a reversible ghost.
lepetitprince dressed as David Blaine's brother.
leprince_howard dressed as a ET&Y Services, Corp. employee.
lisajill dressed as a devil.
lovecraftienne dressed as a 1980's yuppie child.
me_that_way dressed as the love child of Jon Stewart and Natalie Portman.
misspinkkate dressed as Jerry Bruckheimer.
philosophygirl dressed as a cigar.
phreakychic dressed as a resolution.
rhyheim dressed as the Cardinal of Birchton.
shepherdmoons dressed as Al Gore.
sinthome dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Order of Will.
sleepyduck5 dressed as a new superhero: Ultra Scarab.
spengalaluce dressed as Lucy Lawless, and it suited them disturbingly well.
stardustfaith dressed as a mummy.
supremediva dressed as James Garfield.
the_chaplain dressed as the Governor of North Carolina.
the_hummingbird didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
theaterkid dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Pinky Diapersprinkles".
thefreling dressed as Hurricane Vicky.
thismustbepop dressed as George Bush.
tikarass dressed as a elk.
tjtjsan dressed as your cousin.
turn2you dressed as a diplomat from Antigua.
uuraindancer dressed as the spirit of their dead grandmother Madison.
vitabeata dressed as the Cardinal of Stircetem.
whitheramp dressed as a bottle of Kaludiol, though it looked more like Dolly Parton.
wickedkiwi dressed as a KerryDot Com, Ltd. employee.
xmatrixboix dressed as a poetry.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created with phpNonsense



I still don't have a costume!!! Tomorrow I'm going to go to the Halloween store and to the bank and to CVS and to the grocery store. I'm going to try to do laundry and read. And hopefully I'll be adorned for my "liquor-treating" excursion (thanks, ilovemrdarcy, for that super hip term)!

Most nights since I've moved here, I've fallen asleep right away and slept peacefully and deeply throughout the night. Last night - and I acknowledge the severe obnoxiousness of complaining of such a "problem" - my air conditioner was making such horrid noises, while OFF, that I could not sleep. It alternately sounded like someone was knocking loudly on a door and like someone was axing down a large tree. I ultimately turned it on simply to drown out the noise, but at that point the banging was so loud that it overwhelmed the sound of my already loud air conditioner. I don't mind steady street noise. But I don't like it when it sounds like someone is deliberately assaulting my room.

Again, I realize how obnoxious that is. It might be some peculiar status of a graduate student where one can shift a conversation from, "God, I can't afford to go out," to "God, my air conditioning is so loud." I'm not really complaining, I'm just noting that I got very little sleep last night. Also, I found two bites on my inner thigh. These were different because they itched. I never told any of you this, but a few days ago I saw a menacing spider in my room. I killed it, brutally, with roach spray, and then watched it die in pain. I'm going to try to forget about this again, so please don't comment on it.

The extent of my German...

Tomorrow I will go to Los Angeles to see itsjen33. I will miss you all and we'll talk when I return on Thursday...if I don't lose my phone... :-)

Today I went looking for Scott Savol fansites and such, just to see what the hell these sick fucks were like. I came across This Scott Savol LiveJournal community. Of course, the members say what I expected them to - he's not the "boy next door," he's just the "average guy" and the "underdog," etc. However, several things are fishy about this...

1) The posts on this community are very few and far between. Generally, with these weird American Idol fans, there would be way more activity for someone doing so well.
2) There is only one Scott Savol fan community, yet two ANTI Scott Savol communities.
3) There are only 19 members. Now, I'm assuming that more than 19 of the people who vote for Scott have livejournals. Out of these people, if they are voting multiple times (which the MUST be), I would think they would be big enough fans to join a Scott Savol community. Even people like Kimberly Caldwell, back in the day, had over 100 members in her community. And, hell, the Nadia Turner community has more members!

So what the fuck? Seriously? Do Midwesterners not have computers?

I also found this, which is much hotter.

In my boredom, I've added another stupid website to my list of stupid websites. I'm mostly there to stalk people. However, I'd like some friends, so comment here if you have a MySpace account so I can add you. And if you don't, MAKE ONE!!!

Also, Anthony is performing in the drag show tomorrow (Saturday). I demand that you all come!

But I am disgusted.

I'm a Trendy City Faggot! I am better than you. My clothing is better, I am more sophisticated, I smell better, taste better, look better, and feel better. What’s more, I snigger into my macchiato at other faggot stereotypes, because they are all so tragically simple. God why can’t I get laid?

What kind of Faggot are you?
Brought to you by Pushing Through</a>

Okay, I have tons to write. However, for now, I need everyone to help me decide whether my next laptop should be a PC or MAC. Some background, first. Things I do on the computer: use the internet, type papers, fuck around with iTunes (which seems obviously better on a MAC). Things that piss me off and ruin my enjoyment of computers: viruses, crashes, grumbling noises. Please be as detailed as possible because I know nothing about computers.



Poll #458123 MAC or PC
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 12

Should my next laptop be a MAC or PC?

Why (be as detailed as possible and comment if you have more to say than space allows)

So it's that time again where I announce that Thursday, March 3, 2005, y'all should come out to The Den for karaoke finals night! This will be a lot of fun, there will be a lot of hotties there (including myself), and you might get to hear ilovemrdarcy and I Sing "The Girl is Mine" by Michael Jackson and Sir Paul McCartney. I expect everyone even remotely close to New Brunswick to be there and be ready to get their dance on. RSVP on my LJ.

Last night I had a disturbing dream that someone snuck into my house and attacked me. However, after that I had a splendid dream where I was in Liza Minelli's(sp?) mansion and was holding a drag show/orgy in her basement. There were tons of participants, but the only one I remember right now is Paul, who Anthony and I cheered on extensively.

Tomorrow is likely to suck hardcore, but today I managed to buy a really hot, tight, netted shirt, and also some boots that give me some room to gain a pound or so (as opposed to the other boots I bought, which I will return.)

It pains me to say this, but The Simple Life 3 is boring. "Boring" with a capital "B." And Nicole was hotter in previous seasons. Also, I was forced to watch The Ashlee Simpson Show at the gym yesterday. She's so awful. Part of her "apology" for sucking so much is that she's "young" and is "still learning" to sing. Well, Ashlee, that's not how it works. You're supposed to not suck and then get a contract and start performing. I hate you and your sister and your creepy-ass father.

And this is my life.